Weddings

Fees - Bridesmaids - Best Man - Ushers - Music - Photographs - Banns - Service Sheets

Decorating the Church - Guests - Picture Gallery - Vows - Order of Service

Thinking of getting married at St Aidan's?

We would be privileged to help you celebrate your commitment to each other. We hold marriage in high regard and believe that a lifelong commitment of a man and woman can bring great blessings. We also believe that it is important to put God at the centre of your marriage, and in that way to seek his richest blessings on your union.
To help you plan your wedding in church, we have put together some points you might like to think about. There's lots more information on the Church of England's wedding website.

What happens in the Marriage Service?

The Bride is escorted down the aisle on her father’s (or a close friend or relative's) right arm. Traditionally this was the person who “gave her away”. In the modern service this function is not compulsory, but it is helpful for the Bride to have someone she can rely on to accompany her and help calm her nerves.

There will be hymns, words of praise, Bible reading and prayers. St. Aidan’s encourages you and your family to get involved in the planning of the service, especially in choosing your own hymns and Bible readings. For an example order of service, click here.

Ring The Vicar will be happy to make special prayers if requested. These could include anyone too ill to attend.

In the marriage service you make promises to each other and to God. You can read these vows by clicking here.

After the main part of the service is over the couple, together with a small number of selected guests, move to the vestry to sign the registers. You will need to ask two people to witness the signatures. This is traditionally the job of the Chief Bridesmaid and Best Man, or both Fathers, or both Mothers.

After the service the Bride and Groom head up a procession out of the church. They are usually followed by (in order) Chief Bridesmaid and Best Man, other Bridesmaids/Page Boys and then the Bride’s Mother with the Groom’s Father and the Groom’s Mother with the Bride’s Father. However, there are no rules. You are free to do whatever you want.

If you want family or friends to take part in the service by reading a Bible passage or a poem, discuss this with the Vicar.

What does the Vicar need to know?

Please tell him/her if there are any unusual or awkward family circumstances. You can be sure that the Vicar will not be shocked by anything that you tell them. For example, we understand that these days parents of the bride or groom do not always want to sit together.

If either of you is divorced, we would advise you to talk to the Vicar before making an application.
If you are already living together, you can still be married in church but may need to discuss your situation with one of the clergy.
If you have children, discuss this with the Vicar so you can consider how much they can be involved in the service.
Let us know what you will be wearing so that we can make sure the arrangements are suitable. The Vicar will keep this secret!

What Fees do I have to pay?

The church part of your Wedding Day will undoubtedly be the cheapest!
The fees are adjusted annually. Fees for 2010 are £370. This includes:

Vicar’s time in preparation & on the day
Parish clerk – writes up registers and banns
Verger’s Fee – preparing the church for the day
Organist’s Fee
Hire of the Church itself [i.e. heating , lighting etc]
Altar flowers

There is no collection taken during the service.

The Cafe can be hired for small receptions, it is ideal for “cake & wine”.

Currently, either one of you must live or have family connections within the St. Aidan’s parish boundary, or one of you has to be on our electoral roll. To be eligible for the electoral roll you must have been baptised and have regularly attended St.Aidan’s in the last six months.

What about Bridesmaids?

Bridesmaids and Page Boys attend to the Bride and follow her down the aisle when she enters the church.
If you have very young attendants you need to consider what they will do during the service. Will they stand with you or sit with an adult? Your own children, if you have them, can make excellent attendants and will probably want to stay with you during the service.

What does the Best Man do?

The Best Man holds the rings and hands them to the Vicar when requested to do so. (If you do not have a Best Man, the rings can be given to the Vicar before the start of the service.) You will have to decide whether Bride and Groom are both having rings or just the Bride. Don’t forget to try the rings on for size before the service! The Best Man’s main role is to support the Groom, especially before the service and prevent him getting either too nervous or “tired and emotional”. He should help seat the Bridesmaids when appropriate and assist the Bride and Groom during the service with things like service sheets and books. The Best Man will accompany the Chief Bridesmaid out of the church, behind the Bride and Groom. He should then control the congregation as they exit the church to allow the photographer to take pictures.
And, of course, he is expected to make a speech at the Reception.

What are Ushers?

Ushers greet guests as they arrive at the church.

Ushers should arrive 45 minutes before the service.
It is helpful if you ask two members of your family or friends to act as Ushers. Traditionally they are male, but need not be.
They will normally hand out service sheets (or you can put them out on the chairs).
They can also hand out button-holes.
Their main job is to guide people to their places. Friends of the bride usually sit on the left and those of the groom on the right, looking towards the front of the church. The principal guests, such as the couple’s parents, should be seated on the front rows. Parents with babies may prefer to sit nearer the back. Ushers may need to know if people have special seating needs, e.g. disabled etc.
Ushers should bring in late-comers at an appropriate time without spoiling the service.
Ushers should be able to show people where the toilets are.
Ushers can help round up people for photographs after the service.
Ushers need to be able to gently deal with anyone feeling “tired and emotional”.
Ushers will be helped by a Verger who is part of the church staff.

What Music can we have?

There are normally two hymns, one at the beginning to help get everybody focused on the service and one in the middle, before the prayers. You can have a third hymn towards the end of the service if you want. The Vicar will help you select hymns that are reasonably easy to sing, are popular and have appropriate words. If you would like to borrow a hymn book, just ask one of the staff.

St. Aidan’s has an organ and can also play recorded music.
The Vicar can help you choose suitable music for the Bride’s entrance and exit.
St. Aidan’s does not have a choir.
Many couples arrange for someone to sing or play whilst the registers are being signed.

Photographs

During the wedding service we allow only one static video camera without additional light or trailing leads.
The person operating a video camera will be asked to sign a copyright agreement; this simply means they cannot use the film commercially without permission from the Vicar and the couple.
Your Photographer will take pictures before and after the service, and during the signing of the Register.
We do not permit use of cameras with flash guns during the service because it puts everybody off what’s going on.
If you are using an amateur video (or still) photographer, we recommend that you have them test their equipment at St. Aidan’s before the Wedding Day.
We ask that you do not sprinkle Confetti in the church grounds because it makes the path very slippery.
If you want to go ahead and book a wedding, or just discuss your plans, you will need to contact the Vicar as soon as possible and arrange a meeting.

Before the Wedding?

Banns are a legal necessity and an ancient tradition. They come from a time when people lived in small communities and knew each other.

Couples are invited to come to a service at St.Aidan’s to hear the reading of their Banns about two months (but not more than three months) before the wedding. Near the beginning of the service the Vicar says “I publish the Banns of Marriage between (A) and (B). If any of you know cause or just impediment why these persons should not be joined together in holy matrimony you are to declare it. This is the first/second/third time of asking.” During the reading of the Banns the couple is not required to do anything - just listen!

If one of you lives in another Parish, the Banns must be read in that church too and you have to get a certificate from the other church to confirm that they have been read.

In addition to hearing your Banns, you will be asked to attend a Wedding Rehearsal near to the time of the service.

You will also be asked to attend a wedding preparation meeting, which explores the nature of marriage and explains what the service is all about. This is to provide help and support for the years ahead and will help you think through your relationship.

If you have any concerns, or issues you want to talk to someone about, one of the church staff would be happy to meet with you.

What about Service Sheets?

We recommend that you have service sheets printed to help the congregation follow the service and join in with the hymns. These can be produced at a printers, or the church can provide a low cost duplicated sheet which is very suitable for the occasion.

Please do not get the service sheets printed until you have agreed the format with the Vicar.

For complete text of the wedding service see the Common Worship website.

What flowers should we have?

It's entirely up to you, but it's usual for the bride and bridesmaids to carry a bouquet and for bridegroom, best man and main guests to wear a buttonhole.

Flowers Often both the church and reception room (especially the tables) are decorated. You are welcome to bring your own flowers into church and church flower arrangers can provide help you if you need it.

You might want to employ a professional florist to produce some of the arrangements and do others - like church and reception - yourselves. To give your florist the best chance of producing arrangements that you are happy with, it's a good idea to decide on both the style of flowers and your budget before consulting them. Also, it’s wise to take a sample of material of the wedding and bridesmaids dresses to get a colour match.

There are lots of books and websites to get ideas from, you might like to try.

http://www.myweddingflowerideas.co.uk/
http://www.weddingmagazine.co.uk/galleries/1/flowers.html http://www.weddingmagazine.co.uk/galleries/1/flowers.html

How Many Guests should we have?

St. Aidan’s can hold a maximum of 150 people. If you want a very quiet ceremony the minimum number you require, apart from the Bride, Groom and Vicar, is two people to act as witnesses.

Picture Gallery

We would like to publish pictures of weddings at St Aidan’s. If you have any we could use, please let us know. To see our pictures, click here:

The Vows

The declarations:
N, will you take N to be your wife?
Will you love her, comfort her, honour and protect her, and, forsaking all others,
be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?

He answers
I will.

The minister says to the bride
N, will you take N to be your husband?
Will you love him, comfort him, honour and protect him, and, forsaking all others,
be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?

She answers:
I will.

Later in the service, the vows:
I, N , take you, N , to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part; according to God's holy law. In the presence of God I make this vow.

I, N , take you, N , to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part; according to God's holy law. In the presence of God I make this vow.

Then, at the exchange of rings:
N, I give you this ring as a sign of our marriage. With my body I honour you, all that I am I give to you,
and all that I have I share with you, within the love of God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

If only one ring is used, the bride says:
N, I receive this ring as a sign of our marriage. With my body I honour you, all that I am I give to you, and all that I have I share with you, within the love of God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

EXAMPLE ORDER OF SERVICE

Welcome to St. Aidan’s Church, Southcoates Avenue, Hull.

The Marriage of Groom’s Name and Brides Name

Saturday 1st January 2009, 2.00pm

Entry of the Bride

Trumpet Voluntary - Clarke

Welcome

Hymn

The Declarations

The Exchange of Vows

Reading: Colossians 3.12-17 Read by Name

Address by Vicar

Hymn (example)

The Prayers Led by Name

The Dismissal

The Signing of the Register

Music during the signing of the register

Recession

Finale (Royal Fireworks Music) - Handel